The title for week 8 is "How to Start Connecting with the Heart."
We have been learning a lot about the hows and whys of instructing and correcting our children. I hope through it all you have seen the importance of relationship when working with your child's heart. I wrote "child's" because even though you might have multiple children, it is important to parent each child separately. Each child needs special thought and consideration. This is work, but it is good work...in fact it is the best work.
Chapter 6, "Turn on Their Heart Lights" and Chapter 8, "Making the Connection" are the two chapters we were to have read out of the book.
The take away that I would like you to get out of Chapter 6 is this:
Emotionally connecting with your children isn't done just so you can all feel good. Connecting with your son or daughter emotionally softens hearts and prepares the way for much of the hard work of parenting, making it more tolerable and perhaps enjoyable. You must be proactive to maintain closeness with your children. Start by asking yourself the important question, "How does my child like to be loved?........Each child is different. If you have trouble knowing what helps your children feel loved, ask them. They often have insights that get you thinking in the right direction.
What I what you to take away from Chapter 8 is this:
The Gratefulness Principle
Every person's heart contains a "gratefulness button." Seven year old Joshua beams when Mom holds out a plate of cookies and says, "I made your favorites." Mom found the button. Seventeen-year-old Sandra is pleasantly surprised that Mom washed the black pants she wants to wear to the party. Her eyes get big with delight, and Mom knows she's touched her daughter's heart. You feel grateful when your son surprises you by cleaning up the kitchen without being asked, and you give him a big thank-you hug. Gratitude increases closeness. It is useful in parent-child relationships but it also important in marriages, the workplace, and with friends.
The above passage isn't a fairy tale. Family members can be grateful for small things like making favorite cookies or washing an item of clothing. It sounds small, but it can be powerful in family life. Sometimes parents over indulge their children and it results in children who are not grateful. It is very important that children can learn this principle because it will help them in life outside of the family.
I am grateful that I was able to do this work in Parenting is Heart Work. I have been able to refine some techniques and I continue to see progress with my kids. I can stop here and be fine....but I am not and I want to encourage you to not stop either. Continue to grow and learn as a parent. New challenges will pop up and we will all need reminders and encouragement to be better parents. God bless you as you parent your children's heart!
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Monday, July 06, 2015
Parenting is Heart Work, Week 7
Summer is half over! I had a fabulous time at a family reunion this weekend. My eyes are a bit sleepy, but I am determined to finish this Parenting is Heart Work! I can't say over and over again how much I like this curriculum. It takes time, work, effort....but I think it will be well worth it. As I reflect at the past weekend and look at my family reunion I see attitudes and actions of people I have known my whole life, whom I love very much. I pause, however, and I think of why they did something, or why they said something. Those things can give you a window into their heart. The weekend went well, but it could have been disastrous if people's hearts would have held bad attitudes. In the end we celebrated my sweet Grandma. Reflecting on that, my hope is to raise a generation - my own children- who can be respectful and thoughtful and remember that where their treasure is, their heart will be also.....That being said, the title of week 7 is "Attitude: A Window into a Child's Heart"
The reading in the book that coincides with this lesson are Chapter 5 and Chapter 12.
Chapter 5 is entitled, "Emotions Have Feelings Too." Here is the nugget I would like you to get from this chapter.
...the heart is where emotions are felt. Deep seated needs are often experienced on an emotional level. Ultimately, God is the one who fulfills all of our needs, and he uses a number of tools to do so. God created the family to be a place where emotional needs are met. In fact, parents are a primary source for a child's emotional health, and how Dad and Mom relate to their children sets an important foundation.
Chapter 12 is entitled, "A Light on the Path to Heart Change." This is a great chapter about using Scripture - why you should use Scripture and how to use it.
While helping children think rightly in their hearts, don't fall into the trap of a simple "positive-thinking" mentality. We aren't just trying to get our kids to "think happy thoughts" so they can fly. That may happen to Peter Pan, but it doesn't happen in real life. Just thinking about your favorite things may get you through a stormy night, as in the movie "The Sound of Music," but it's not enough to help children through the deep struggles they face.
Although the Bible's message is positive, it's balanced with a realistic understanding of who we are and what we need. Children need to see the courage of Daniel, who stood for convictions as he faced the lions' den, and hear about Gideon, who was able to fight a huge army with only a few men. Joshua fought the battle of Jericho by trusting God, and David killed a giant with just a few small stones.
Sometimes as a parent, we have our own giants to face....our own emotions. When we are frustrated or angry....why are we? (There is the immediate thing that made you frustrated/angry..but why is it such a big deal?) Sometimes answering those questions help us become better people and better parents. If those answers are hard to come by, know this....God knows you and understands you. He wants to help you conquer your emotional giants. Just ask Him. If you need help, I would be happy to pray for you.
God bless you though your parenting!
The reading in the book that coincides with this lesson are Chapter 5 and Chapter 12.
Chapter 5 is entitled, "Emotions Have Feelings Too." Here is the nugget I would like you to get from this chapter.
...the heart is where emotions are felt. Deep seated needs are often experienced on an emotional level. Ultimately, God is the one who fulfills all of our needs, and he uses a number of tools to do so. God created the family to be a place where emotional needs are met. In fact, parents are a primary source for a child's emotional health, and how Dad and Mom relate to their children sets an important foundation.
Chapter 12 is entitled, "A Light on the Path to Heart Change." This is a great chapter about using Scripture - why you should use Scripture and how to use it.
While helping children think rightly in their hearts, don't fall into the trap of a simple "positive-thinking" mentality. We aren't just trying to get our kids to "think happy thoughts" so they can fly. That may happen to Peter Pan, but it doesn't happen in real life. Just thinking about your favorite things may get you through a stormy night, as in the movie "The Sound of Music," but it's not enough to help children through the deep struggles they face.
Although the Bible's message is positive, it's balanced with a realistic understanding of who we are and what we need. Children need to see the courage of Daniel, who stood for convictions as he faced the lions' den, and hear about Gideon, who was able to fight a huge army with only a few men. Joshua fought the battle of Jericho by trusting God, and David killed a giant with just a few small stones.
Sometimes as a parent, we have our own giants to face....our own emotions. When we are frustrated or angry....why are we? (There is the immediate thing that made you frustrated/angry..but why is it such a big deal?) Sometimes answering those questions help us become better people and better parents. If those answers are hard to come by, know this....God knows you and understands you. He wants to help you conquer your emotional giants. Just ask Him. If you need help, I would be happy to pray for you.
God bless you though your parenting!
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