Parenting is Heart Work, week 2

My hope is to do 2 blogs this week so that I can catch up to our class.

Week 2 of Parenting is Heart Work, the video series, deals with reaching deep into a child's heart. We all have inner conversations. In our class we want to focus on your child and the the talk they do in their heart, but I would ask you to consider the things that you say to yourself in your heart. Forcing myself to look at my own heart has been humbling, but I think that it is in those times that God speaks to me and it can be very rewarding. As it is rewarding to us, it will be for your child as well as you set time for him or her to take a break......but that is moving to our next session.

The chapters that we were to read in the book, Parenting is Heart Work were chapters 9 and 11.
Chapter 9 is titled, Talking to Yourself. What I want to focus on in this chapter is:

Children's hearts rule their worlds. They sometimes repeat false statements or ideas in their hearts that are counterproductive. When they're struggling in relationships, much of what they say to themselves is negative and critical.....If you spend time talking to children about their anger, defiance, jealousy, or conflict  you hear some amazing misconceptions about life.

Parents: your homework is to take time and do a study on each of your children. What weaknesses do they have? What lies do they believe? What are some of the unproductive things they are saying in their hearts? Ask yourself: What does he say when he is arguing with me? What does she say when she's angry? What does he mumble under his breath in his room or as he stomps down the hall? How does she report offenses to her friends? How does she rationalize and justify her mistakes? As you listen to your child talk, you'll get a bigger picture of beliefs, values and impressions that are guiding behavior. Become a detective. It may not be time to correct the behavior, but it is time to figure out what is in your child's heart.

Chapter 11 is titled, Meditation Management. What I want to focus on in this chapter is this:

Meditation is the process of repeating the same thing over and over again in your heart - sometimes the same words, and other times the same idea examined from various sides. The focus of meditation becomes a temporary obsession, and you're not easily distracted from the intense internal dialogue. Sometimes it feels like your heart is on autopilot and won't stop nagging you about the issue......The psalmist wrote, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer" (Ps.19:14). Notice the Bible says meditation takes place in the heart. It's not just our spoken words that create problems, but inner words also can build significant roadblocks in our lives.

Oh boy, that is tough. How many times have I meditated on someone who has done me wrong? I find that I can't have any nice thing to say about them. Stop, back up, Rebecca.....It says, May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord. Are those words and thoughts pleasing to the Lord? No! That is what I mean when I say that this heart work stuff is humbling......but I promise you if you make the change, it is rewarding. God bless you as you are doing the heart work!

I just want to add that the material that we are doing is by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. The materials can be found at The National Center for Biblical Parenting

Parenting is Heart Work, Week 1

I am behind a week. Sorry!

Session 1 of Parenting is Heart Work video series is about teaching kids to listen and follow instructions. This session is important to the rest of the series because  it is useful as you continue in the rest of the activities. Being able to get your child's attention so that you can give them instructions is important for communication and cooperation.

If you are reading along in the book, Parenting is Heart Work, you were to read chapter 4. The part from chapter 4, Do It Like You Mean It, that I want to focus on is found on page 69, "What Your Child Treasures."

What are your kids interested in? What do they think about? Where do they spend their money? What do they want to do? Jesus said that, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matt. 6:21). Most of the time the activities our children choose indicate what they treasure.

Because the heart and behavior are closely linked, parents can look for things their kids can do that will encourage healthy heart change. Desires, hopes, dreams, and wishes start in the heart and then come out in a child's conversation.

Take some time to talk to each of your children individually. Assess the things that interest them. You should be able to know the answers about favorite shows, colors, books, games, ice cream, etc. You should know what interests them, what scares them, what makes them laugh. This is something that should take time and be ongoing, but by doing this homework, you will build relationship and give you some idea about reaching into your child's heart....which is the next session!

God bless you during this heart work!

Parenting and the Heart

We are starting a parenting class at church and the curriculum that we are using is from the National Center for Biblical Parenting. The book that goes along with the curriculum is:

For the next few weeks I will be posting on related chapters. God bless you as you parent your child's heart!

So Happy Together!

We recently got back from vacation, or “vacay” (vay-k?) as my son called it. I’m not sure of the spelling for vay-kay, but really anything goes now-a-days. My parents rented a cabin for a week near Ely, Minnesota. They invited my brothers and me and our families to come up. Minnesota was never a place that I had considered as a vacation spot since I lived so close to it, but our week stay in northern Minnesota was quite lovely. Besides the mosquitoes and sometimes the rain, the trip was perfect.

We didn't have a television, which was nice, unless you were trying to watch the U.S. soccer team’s game in the World Cup. (Don’t worry; the guys went into town to watch it.) We didn't always have internet service, which was nice too, unless you are trying to figure another way home. We ended up stopping and buying a $4 map, much to my husband’s dismay. The kids didn't swim in the lake as much because a couple days were rainy and cold, but we enjoyed the use of the kayaks and canoes. We enjoyed the atmosphere, being together, my mom’s cooking, and the crazy 4^th of July parade.

 I asked the kids what their favorite thing about vacation was and their response was….”spending time with our cousins!” (They also liked the Wolf Center and the Bear Center.) Spending vacation with a group of people….in the same cabin……is not always easy. There will always be a difference of opinions about everything….places to go, things to do, and food to eat.  I appreciate the fact that even though that is the case, in our family, we do not let it get us down. We definitely are not perfect at this, but it is important to  keep trying. Why???

1    

        * For our parents. They love us all. They know that we aren't perfect, but they enjoy being with us and want to support us. They deserve our respect.

2      * For our children. They love playing with their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. They bring joy to many. They are watching us and how we get along with others.

3     * For us. We have built-in babysitters. My husband and I can go and do something as a couple while the kids stay with people we know and trust.

4     *  To build memories.

I know that not all families get along. If your family doesn't, I want to encourage you to bring some unity to your family. What are some ways you can respect your parents, even your siblings and in-laws, and be better examples to your kids? I hope that you try because in the end it is indeed worth it!

Moving Journey #3: Loseamucca in Winnamucca

 A few years ago, maybe as many as 6, my Iowan parents traveled out to California by automobile to visit us. They got to Winnamucca, Nevada, about 6 hours away, and they broke down.  They spent several days trying to get their mini- van fixed before they decided to just rent a different vehicle to travel the rest of the way.  We had a fabulous time together and after at least a week’s time they took their rental and headed back. One would think that after that amount of time the van would be fixed and they could head on their way back home; that was not the case. They had to wait another day. Their version of the story is very humorous. Since that time I have told myself that if we ever traveled that way, we would not stay in Winnamucca.

Fast forward to our moving day…we left our home in California a little later than planned. We stopped for gas and dinner someplace in Nevada, but again, stayed a little longer than planned so my husband could make sure that his “cool” car was going to be okay on the trailer. I told my husband sometime that afternoon that I did not want to stay the night in Winnamucca. If you have ever driven in that part of the country, towns are few and far between. When the day started to wear on us and Kirk’s voice announced over the radio that we were going to stay in Winnamucca I actually was okay with it. How bad could it be?

It was late, but since September is not in peak traveling season I thought we would surely find a hotel room. We stopped at a nice hotel. I was looking forward to the bed and relaxing after a long emotion- filled day. It was not to be. There was no room in the inn, as was the case for the next half a dozen hotels Kirk called. He finally located an econo-something or other and I sighed with relief that we found someplace to rest. Unfortunately, it was not a restful sleep. Our dog was even restless. Kirk was busy worrying about the car, I was trying to figure out a more organized way to travel, and the room was not up to par.  I was not looking forward to another day of traveling. In the morning, after a breakfast of champions (convenient store doughnuts) we were ready to hit the road.

The hotel was in a narrow U-shape. Kirk couldn’t come into the parking lot with the trailer and moving truck so the night before he had to park outside on the street.  There was another exit to the parking lot that had low clearance. Warning of the low clearance was a big sign informing how only certain vehicles could go through.  As we were preparing to leave, I figured it would be quicker to go through the exit with low clearance because it was easier than backing up and trying to exit where I had entered. I was terribly wrong! You see, I happened to forget that 2 of our bicycles didn’t fit in the moving van and Kirk had strapped them to the top of my van. I hadn’t gone very far before I heard a crunch and a crash. What?! I called over our radio, “Kirk, I just did something real stupid.” That man deserves a pat on the back. He didn’t get mad. He was calm and went to report the mess his wife made to the manager. You see, I ran the 2 bikes right into the $345 sign. In fact, he even remained calm when the owner had him drive to the sign shop a few blocks away and order a new one. (Quite honestly I think that was ridiculous. There was a tiny piece broken off of the sign, otherwise it appeared unharmed. It could have been bolted right back up there.) While that was happening our dog broke the GPS adapter and we had to locate a Wal-Mart to buy a new one. The stop in Winnamucca cost us around $450. We “lost” -a-mucca in Winnamucca! I am sure many people have had great experiences in Winnamucca and I don’t mean to give the town a bad name. I do want this experience to remind me of the lessons that I learned throughout this moving journey……. no matter what: be thankful that my family is together, to remember the true price of things, and that there really are times when my husband is patient with me! I am thankful for the safe trip, for my California church family and friends, a new church family and many, many other blessings!  I hope that my life lessons reminded you of your own blessings in your life no matter what else is going wrong around you. God bless you!

Moving Journey #2: Home is Where the Heart is

Many of you know the saying "Home is where the heart is." In theory that is true, but it is truly hard to live it when you don't know where you might be living or as you are following the moving truck that has all your belongings in the world located inside of it.

This summer we traveled to Iowa from California so that my husband could try out for a position at a church. He was to preach and then the next Sunday the congregation would vote on whether they wanted him as their pastor. That is how it works in a non-denominational church. We were unsure if he would be accepted, or if we would accept the position. It seemed weird to start looking for houses, yet we needed to because we had no plans of coming back to house hunt. We drove all over town looking for houses to rent or buy.

We fell in love with a house that hadn't been updated since the 70's. I loved the layout and everything in the house had been well taken care of. One of the bathrooms had shag carpet going up the sides of the wall. I call the house, "The Shaggy House." It was out of our price range however because of it's indoor swimming pool. Most of the houses were out of our range and if they were in the range, they needed too much work. House hunting was exhausting. One of the times we were driving around looking at houses and we ended up in a cul-de-sac, looking at a big house with a "for sale" sign in the yard. My daughter looked at the house and exclaimed,"That is the one." I told her, "In your dreams." We never could quite find a house before we left. As you probably have figured out, my husband was voted to come and be the pastor at the church and we accepted. The pressure to find a house to live in grew.

We had a hard time finding rentals, so we turned to trying to buy a home. It is a crazy feeling trying to buy a home that we had never walked through but just had seen on the internet. The buying a house option fell through for reasons I will not go into. What were we going to do? There was a family with ties to the church who had moved to work in a ministry organization. They wanted to sell their home but it hadn't sold. They asked us if we wanted to rent it. It sounded like a plan. It sounded like it could be God's plan. We would help them out and they would help us out. Several weeks before our move, plans changed. They got an offer on their home and there was no contract between us yet. How could we say "no" to them? They needed to sell their home and they got an offer to buy it. We felt God's hand in it and we felt that it was going to be okay. As the days went by, however, it didn't seem okay and we started to worry. There were some places to rent. Mostly the options were slim. We were looking for a 2 car garage (for Kirk's special car and project truck) and a place that would allow our dog. We just didn't feel comfortable with the options. Two weeks before our move we got a call from a member of the church that told us  about another option. Someone they knew could help us out....they actually cut us a deal. It was just what we wanted: a house with a 2-car garage, big living space, and they would let us have our dog.

On faith, we packed up our house, our extra car, dog, and children and traveled through 5 states. As we were driving through town trying to locate this home that we get to live in until we find something else, we drove down into a cul-de-sac and end in front of the house that my daughter had originally claimed as "the one".... and yet it was the one. How crazy is that? I thank God that we have a place to lay our heads and thank Him for the laugh. We may move again in the next year into a smaller home or we may get to stay, but it is true that home is where the heart is...as long as I have my family that is all that matters.

*****
10/27/12
I want to amend my last paragraph. Instead of "as long as I have my family that is all that matters" I want to say that Jesus is my true home and I am thankful for the blessing of my family that He has given me -it shouldn't matter what house we live in. I just want to keep my perspective and my family shouldn't be as important to me than Jesus.

Moving Journey #1: The Wedding Ring

I do not wear much jewelery. When I do it is for a short time. I have grown accustomed to wearing my wedding ring for longer periods of time, but there are times when I don't like to wear it. Those times would include, but not limited to....1) when I sleep 2) when I exercise 3) when I am getting ready/showering and 4) when I am cleaning. I admit that I have been careless with it and in my old age, absentminded. That leads me to sadly say that I had misplaced it. I have no memory of when I misplaced it. All of a sudden it was gone and I had no idea where it could be. There are 3 places that I place it when I am not wearing it and it was not in any of those places.

When I realized that it was missing, I didn't worry. I knew it would turn up. Besides, I was busy getting ready to move, working, and being a mom. However, after a week went by I started to get worried. I checked everywhere. It occurred to me that I have been throwing so much stuff away, perhaps I accidentally tossed it out? Unfortunately the garbage collector came the day before and it was too late to dig in the garbage. That is when I got sick to my stomach. I didn't have time to search for my ring. So I did what I always do when I realize that something is too big for me to do myself.....I pray. I prayed and then I prayed some more. My husband was not angry with me, he was wonderful. He probably knew that I was giving myself a hard time. He simply said that it was only a ring and that if I wanted a bigger one I should have just told him.

I WAS berating myself for being so careless. As I was packing I ran across some things that I had forgotten about, but instantly thought of what I would give if I had only found my ring instead. I think that God was using this time to teach me the value of things. I started out telling God that I would rather have my ring than ........ However I realized that really to God my ring is worthless. Instead I should say that I would rather have a girl be saved from sexual slavery than for me to find my ring. Or, I would rather someone accepts Jesus as their personal Savior than for me to find my ring or that just one child would be saved from abortion than for me to find my ring. There are so many other things that are more precious than my ring. At that time, I felt a peace within me. I still wanted my ring, I still wondered if I threw it away, I still prayed about finding it, but I also knew I had a task at hand - the task of moving - my ring had to be left in God's hands. I only had a week to pack up my house, finish work, and say good-bye to friends.

This story jumps to 2 weeks later- we had packed up our house in a moving truck,  traveled through 5 states, arrived at our new house, and unpacked. Friday night I had a dream that I opened up a box and there was my ring. All day Saturday as I was unpacking I was expecting to find it, but sadly I didn't. I told myself that I was just getting my hopes up.  Sunday we traveled to my brother's church to listen to him preach. I had grabbed my Bible that I had just recently unpacked. As I was opening up my Bible in church I knew that I needed a pen. I dug in the pocket of my Bible cover to find one. Instead I found my ring. (I had packed the Bible with my other books and I had been using my pocket Bible - I am not sure how long that Bible was packed.) I am amazed at my own response. Crying is not my usual immediate response, and yet that is what I did - I cried. I was amazed and thankful. I still have no memory of how it got there.

I am not saying that God magically put it in my Bible.....He could, but I don't think that is what happened. I do think I carelessly put it in there. I can't tell you what God's role was in me finding my ring, but I can tell you a few things for sure: that God does care about His people-  He wants you to come to Him with anything that might be bothering you and He does give you peace even if your situation seems small. In reality, the losing of my wedding ring is very small.

Moving has been not just a journey through 5 states, but an emotional journey as well. We have had many blessings along the way. Finding my ring was just one of them. I am thankful for all those who have prayed us along this journey. We couldn't have done it without those prayers!

You may have a Parker too

My youngest son didn't start talking until  he was three. He would just grunt. When he did start talking, even his own mother couldn't always understand him and I, his mother, understood him better than most. After several years of speech therapy, I am so pleased at how well he is doing and the big words he is using.

A year ago Parker wasn't even potty-trained, he was 5. (Trust me, we tried everything.) I didn't even think I would send him to Kindergarten because of it....somehow Parker was pee-trained before school started. We sent him to school without being completely poop-trained on a wing and a prayer. Somehow..somehow...it worked out with very little accidents.

Over a year ago, we gave him his brother's old bike with training wheels. He was not interested in it at all, preferring  his trike. This spring, his dad taught him how to ride that bike without training wheels. I am still amazed when I see him riding past like a professional.

A year ago, I was going to teach him how to swim. My other 2 children learned to swim at a young age and I was ready to not have to worry about him around water, however he would not put his face in the water. Last Sunday, my husband took the kids over to a friend's house, and as Kirk and our friend were sitting down conversing, Parker stepped into the pool and just started swimming with no floaties!

Yesterday he graduated from Kindergarten. He got 100% on his math benchmark for Kindergarteners and he got the "Avid Math-er Award". I am overwhelmed at the changes in him in just a year. I can't help but remember how frustrated he has made us these past few years. Yet, why did we worry? 

You may have a "Parker" too. He may not be doing what the average child his age is suppose to be doing. You may be getting lots of advice on how to correct his behavior. Take heart, even though he may require more patience, he is an individual. He may need individualized parenting, a little extra prayer, but it will be okay. If you have a "Parker", I feel your pain. Let me know because we may need to set up a support group! God bless the "Parkers" of the world!

Loser!

When I was in college, I helped a college friend in his youth ministry. He created a t-shirt for the youth, it had "LOSER" written across the front of it. Of course, "loser" wouldn't be a label that most people would want to be labeled with. The idea of the shirt comes from Matthew 16 verse 25, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for me will find it." I was reminded of that verse recently as I was watching a t.v. program featuring a preacher from Australia. This man preached a sermon backing up this thought, "No mature Christian who is seasoned in the Word has any defend-able excuse for living their life offended." His point? If you are dying to self, if you are losing your life for Christ, if you are carrying your cross, than life looks differently and you can't be offended.

After I got done being offended, okay maybe not offended, but rather, convicted, I had a "ah-ha" moment. How many times have I let myself be offended? Instead of losing myself for Christ, I was losing myself for myself.

I also got to thinking how sometimes we American Christians become offended by the offering. Maybe you have been. "How dare someone tells me that I need to give money." "They are asking for money again?" Or "you need to give above and beyond." Let's not get into the whys and why-nots, but let's take a look at 2 Corinthians 8:2. Paul is telling the Corinthian church about how the Macedonian churches gave. He says, "Out of the most severe trial, their overwhelming joy and extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity." No matter what trial you are going through, do not let the offering offend you, rather as the Macedonian churches did, I pray that with the joy of the Lord, you will see how you can be generous.

Giving a Cold Cup of Water

In Matthew chapter 10, Jesus sends out the 12 apostles and gives them authority over evil spirits, sickness and to preach the message. He gives them instructions for the mission, for instance in verse 9 he says, “Do not take any gold or silver or copper in your belts; take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic, or sandals or a staff; for the worker is worth his keep.” In verses 17-39, Jesus also warns of conflict, persecution, and the cost of discipleship.

At the end of this chapter, we see verse 42, “And if anyone gives, even a cold cup of water to one of these little ones, because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly get his reward.”

First, I want to mention that the term “little ones” refers not to children, but to the disciples, as they share the vulnerability and the lowly status of children. Second, I want to mention that to “give a cold cup of water” is basic eastern hospitality and needs no rewards, but as God always does, He shows us that His grace goes beyond our deserving. So with a different understanding of this verse, let's read it again. “And if anyone gives, even a cold cup of water to one of these little ones, because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.

I want to focus on the “giving even a cold cup of water” and apply it to our giving. As you give offering, we know that God wants us to tithe our firstfruits and to give cheerfully as it instructs in Scripture, but consider also how you can give even a cold cup of water. Can you give of your service? Can you give of your time? Can you give of your hospitality to those who work so hard for the Kingdom’s work? Americans are good at using money as a band-aid to solve problems. How many times have we thought that winning the lottery will solve our financial problems? Or if someone is need of some help, we give them some money instead of staying and helping. Money is needed to run daily operations, but as you consider giving, don’t just consider the amount of money you should give, but how can you give of yourself? What ministries in the church need your “cup of cold water”?

Achan's Sin

Last week during Sunday School, I asked my 2^nd and 3^rd grade students what “thing” did they want in the whole world. Some students said a Ninetendo DSi or an Xbox 360, but I had one who said that they wanted the whole Toys R Us Store and another student, spurred on by that line of thought, said, the whole Walmart store. With that, I led into the story of Achan.

You see, the Israelites had just got done conquering the city of Jericho, in which the Lord told them to spare no one – except for Rahab and her family, burn everything else, except the gold, silver, iron and bronze which would be the Lord’s. I told the students to imagine that they had to go in and destroy any Xbox, Nintendo DSi that they found and burn down ToysRUs and Walmart. Would that be hard to do? Of course. Achan did just that. He stole a beautiful robe from Babylon, some gold and some silver for himself and hid them under his tent. Because of his sin, it cost him his life, his families’ lives, and the lives of 36 innocent Israelite soldiers. Read the story for yourself in Joshua 6 and 7.

Achan’s treasure was worldly possessions. It is easy for us to treasure worldly possessions as well. Many times it feels like we humans would rather pay a tithe to vacations, cars, houses, campers and clothes, than to the Lord. The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, He doesn’t need our money. He didn’t need Jericho’s wealth either. He does, however, desire our worship and obedience. Offering time is a time of worship to show where our hearts are. Matthew 6:21 says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Please consider where your heart is today and adjust it accordingly.

The Wee Little Man

Zacchaeus was a wee little man and a wee little man was he. He climbed up in a Sycamore tree for the Lord he wanted to see. And as the Savior passed that way He looked up in the tree and He said, "Zacchaeus, you come down, for I’m going to your house today.

These are the words to a song about the treasured Bible story found in Luke 19:1-10. I have recently taught this lesson to my 2 - 3 year old class. For you who know the story, the exciting part isn’t just about Jesus going to a tax collector’s home. Starting with verse 5 in Luke 19, Let’s hear the rest of the story…..

When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be a guest of a 'sinner.'" But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount." Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost.

Zacchaeus is Jewish by birth, but considered a traitor because he and others like him chose to work for Rome as a tax collector. Not just working for Rome, but making themselves rich by cheating their fellow Jews.

I don’t know what it was that made Zacchaeus climb a tree……maybe just the wonder of a celebrity or just tired of being short, but he hung up his pride and he climbed a tree. Jesus saw something in him to want to go to his house. I love Zacchaeus’ response, his willingness to give back. One could say that being in the presence of Jesus most people would feel like they should give, but that is not so for the Rich Young Ruler found just a page before in Luke 18:18-30. Not everyone is compelled to give when they are in the presence of Jesus.

Some might say that they themselves are not rich, they can’t give back as much as Zacchaeus was able to give back. But 2 Corinthians 8:12 says this,

“For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have.”

I like the way the way a Bible commentary explains this verse, it says “God accepts the will for the deed. He judges not according to what a man has the opportunity to do, but according to what he would do if he had the opportunity.” God judges the heart.

We don’t have to give such a large amount as Zacchaeus did; we just have to give in the same way as Zacchaeus did. Zacchaeus gave what he could when he had the opportunity – what are you going to give when you have the opportunity to give back for God’s kingdom? As you sit in the Lord’s presence, I hope you are compelled to give in the same way as Zacchaeus did.

The Rock Wall

We had our annual city festival. It is a small deal, but there are several things for the kids to do. It can get costly (it costs $2 just for 1 slide down the big slide). My 7 year old daughter and my 5 year old son decided they wanted to climb the rock wall.

I didn't take time to explain what my son was to expect and I regret it since he had never done it before. I guess I figured that the guys running it would and that he would climb up a little ways and be done.

















My daughter has done it before. She looked like a pro!














Anyway....back to my son. He kept going...and going..... I couldn't believe it! Right about there, however, he started crying. He was scared. I think that he didn't know he could come down and so he just kept climbing up.








One of the guys, quickly climbed up there and showed him how to get to the top, ring the buzzer, and helped him down. What an experience for my little guy!

Then my youngest, who is 4 years old, doesn't like big play areas with tunnels and big slides. However, he decided with his brother to go and run through one. He was having a great time until he made it to the top and realized he had to go down a tube slide. He REFUSED! After 5 minutes of crying, I had to have one of the girls in charge go get him and help him down. She just sat him in the slide and made him go down and he did!

It makes me think of the times that we get in a jam and we have to rely on God to help us out. Sometimes the first step is scary. The first leap off the wall is scary until you realize that something is holding you. Remember God is holding you in those tough situations. He never lets go!

The Carpenters and the Oak Ridge Boys

I have an old soul. I love the Carpenters and the Oak Ridge Boys. When I hear one of their songs - wherever I am- I smile. Why? Well, because my parents use to listen to that music when I was a kid and it brings back good memories and feelings of togetherness. This is more important as I am grown and I don't see my parents as often. Truthfully, there are many more artists and songs that could be put into that category.

For instance, I love hymns. I am not a great singer, but to sit in church service and sing together with other believers certain hymns can bring tears to my eyes. Of course there are great messages in hymns, but I have great memories and feelings that are tied up in these songs. I feel, in some ways, we can lose touch with these memories and feelings in modern times because there are always new worship songs and we soon stop singing "old songs". Not to say that I am against contemporary music, there are many that I love to sing as well.

My main point to this blog is that it is important to be wise to the music that you are listening to as parents, your kids are watching and listening. What music will your kids say that you listened to while they lived with you? Are you setting a good example in this? What music from your past brings a smile to your face?

Just some things that I was thinking about.

Stretching and Growing

The beginning of December I started a new job. I am continuing to babysit during the day, but now I have become a tutor in the after-school program at my kids' school. Kirk picks up the kids as I go to work. It is somewhat similar to the teacher-aid job that I had before I had kids. I was looking and praying for a way that I could bring some more money into our house since we had some added expenses in the last few months. I applied for a job at a clothing store for holiday hours, I got hit upon to "do" Melaluca, and I tried a Newspaper carrier job - none of which worked out. My youngest son is still at home and I feel very strongly about staying home with him until he goes to school. So far I have been able to, but this fall I was worried I wasn't going to be able to stand by that conviction. I am truly amazed how this job presented itself and how it worked out for my family. It truly is an answer to prayer. Praise the Lord!

It has been 6 years since I have done any work outside of the home and church, and in the process of finding a job and then starting this tutoring job, I must confess that it has stretched me. I feel like my brain has become mush. The things I once knew that are academic need to be dusted off, or have been forgotten, and all the things that I have become an expert on in the past 6 years aren't necessarily needed (i.e. - diaper changing, bowel movements, breast feeding, etc.) I have many feelings of inadequacy and many humbling moments. Like the time I started to misspell a word for a child right in front of a teacher. One thing is for certain, even though I do need to catch up in some ways, I feel like being a mother has enhanced me in working with children in a school setting. If only I had some of those skills when I worked as an aid in the junior high.

I have enjoyed working in the after-school program, but there are some challenges that I need to overcome. So I ask your thoughts and prayers as I continue with this job. With my youngest turning 4 soon, that also means that I am going to have to be looking for a job soon. I have never grown up and decided what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I also ask for your prayers as I need to pursue a career path that will also compliment me as a mother and as a pastor's wife. That is very heavy on my heart. Starting this new job and seeking a career path will be a stretching and growing time for me and I just ask for your prayers.

I hope that this new year has started out well for you, and I pray that no matter where you are, you are seeking God and a relationship with His Son, Jesus. God bless you!

Sleeping Dogs

Sometimes anger is like a sleeping dog, if you let it lie and go about your life it is easy to not think about it, almost forgetting that it exists. When the details start to arise once again- sometimes years later, anger's ugly head rises and the sleeping dog has awaken. The solution is? To forgive. Forgive? Forgive again, again.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:21-22

And that is a Rebecca Original, brought to you by SLEEPLESSNESS.
This is my last post in 2009. I have not posted for awhile, hopefully I will be better in 2010.

Count Your Blessings

Farmers can be rather depressing. I can say that because I grew up in a farming community in Northwest Iowa and my father is a farmer. They really aren't that bad, except they always seemed to be worried. Any conversation that you may have with one would be about something that they are worried about. The weather is too hot, too cold, too wet or too dry. Some machinery is always broken down or some of their animals are sick. I could go on and on about their daily worries.

When Kirk and I started in ministry, we started in a farming community very similar to my hometown. Of course, our church had many families whose livelihoods involved farming. Every year at Thanksgiving time, as many churches do, the church would take up a special Thanksgiving offering. Every year the farmers would start their worrying that the Thanksgiving offering would not amount to much because that year had not been a good year for the farmers. And each year there would be more money in the Thanksgiving offering than the year before.

I could be wrong in my assumptions, but not only do I think that farmers are worriers, but I think that they can be some of the most thankful. They understand that even though they shed blood, sweat, and tears, all of their crops can be ruined in an instant. That they could be up all night with a sick cow and calf and both the cow and calf could be dead by morning. They live with these situations daily. They are constantly reminded that they have little control. It is mentally important for them to be thankful.

Leviticus 7 gives the rules for the Peace Offering. The Peace Offering can be offered to the Lord for Thanksgiving. Even though we do not have to offer sacrifices as the Israelites did in Leviticus, I think that it is appropriate to say that today we too can give our offerings out of our thanksgiving to God. It may be difficult for us to find much to be thankful about. Maybe you have lost a job, or you are sick. Maybe you are having marital problems or you are having difficulty with a rebellious child. I could go on and on about reasons why it is hard to be thankful.
Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite hymns:

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy that you are called to bear?
Count you many blessing, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at other with their lands and gold,
Think that God has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings - wealth can never buy
Your reward in Heaven, not your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your Journey's end.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God has done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your many blessings, see what God has done.

(I am sorry if I offended any farmers. I have complete respect and love for the farming way of life.)

When Did You Learn To Tie Your Shoes?

When I was a kid it was expected for kindergartners to know how to tie their shoes. (It took me until I was in Kindergarten and I think I was the last one to figure it out. I remember getting yelled at by my P.E. teacher for not knowing how to.) It still is a part of the list of what a kindergartner should be able to do and I am sure many do. I am guessing that the more shoes have become tie-less, there are more and more children that don't know how until they are older.

My daughter is one of those children. She is in 2nd grade and just today when she was getting out the tennis shoes (we still are wearing sandals in CA) she asked to learn how to tie. We have shown her before - a long time ago, but because she is older now, she picked it right up. I would work with my 5 year old on the skill except he doesn't own a pair of shoes that need to be tied.....someday.

By the way, the outfit that she is wearing in the picture was just purchased at the thrift store yesterday. I am glad that she still doesn't mind wearing used clothing. And that is the latest news at the Evans' house.

One T.V. Rule

I have a rule for myself - the importance of one t.v. in the house. May I also say that this isn't my husband's rule. If we could afford it, I am sure that we would have another T.V. in the house. Let me back up - we do have a 2nd t.v. but it is not hooked up for channels. They can watch videos on it and is usually only used when we have a Bible Study and we want the kids to play in their bed rooms.

There are many reasons why it is important to have one T.V. 1) It makes it easier to monitor what the kids are watching. 2) It is important to learn to compromise and share. 3) It brings the family together. Sometimes we sit down and watch a cartoon with the kids, but we might not do that if there was another t.v. to go and watch. And 4) I think that it is helpful in not watching too much t.v.

There are times, like today (Saturday) when I wish that we had another television. Kirk could watch college football all day, and it gets a little old. But I am thankful for our DVR and it causes me to get more done around the house and with the kids. Lately, I have been reading more books. Having only one t.v. is a good discipline that I hope that will continue in the Evans' house. If I have my way, then we will continue the one t.v rule.

My Piranha Hour

I don't know if you read Max Lucado, I do occasionally. The other day I read about how everyone has a piranha hour. I immediately knew when mine was - as soon as the kids get home from school, Monday through Thursday (thank goodness for the weekend!) There are always papers to look at, things to put where they belong, homework to do, pet chores to do, supper to prepare, the table to set, the meal to clean up, baths to take, and then bedtime - which includes potty, prayers, and a drink. I didn't include breaking up disagreements or taking care of crying children. I also didn't include the fact that I am trying at the moment to potty train a child who doesn't want to potty train. I know that my husband has been at work all day and needs to unwind, but how maddening it can be for him to sit there as I am being attacked by piranhas. Kirk can be sitting on the couch watching T.V. and I am obviously busy, yet the kids still come to me for help finding shoes, finding toys, etc. CRAZINESS! My piranha hour was so exhausting last night that I remember sitting down and watching t.v., but I am unsure how I got into my bed.

Max Lucado was trying to help the reader remember how Jesus handled moments like these - with love. I know that I don't always handle my moments with love. I mean, really, I would be super mom if I told my children a thousand times to put their things away and was loving about it. AND I may not be thinking very loving thoughts about my husband as he sits oblivious to the fact that I am being eaten alive! Obviously I need a new system. I am working on that. One that will help with the love factor that sometimes goes out the front door as the children enter it.

I am being a little dramatic when it comes to my piranha hour, but it can get hectic. You may have one too. When is your piranha hour? Any suggestions to getting mine a little less hectic?

2 Timothy 1:7 "God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control."

Have a blessed week!