Parenting is Heart Work, week 2

My hope is to do 2 blogs this week so that I can catch up to our class.

Week 2 of Parenting is Heart Work, the video series, deals with reaching deep into a child's heart. We all have inner conversations. In our class we want to focus on your child and the the talk they do in their heart, but I would ask you to consider the things that you say to yourself in your heart. Forcing myself to look at my own heart has been humbling, but I think that it is in those times that God speaks to me and it can be very rewarding. As it is rewarding to us, it will be for your child as well as you set time for him or her to take a break......but that is moving to our next session.

The chapters that we were to read in the book, Parenting is Heart Work were chapters 9 and 11.
Chapter 9 is titled, Talking to Yourself. What I want to focus on in this chapter is:

Children's hearts rule their worlds. They sometimes repeat false statements or ideas in their hearts that are counterproductive. When they're struggling in relationships, much of what they say to themselves is negative and critical.....If you spend time talking to children about their anger, defiance, jealousy, or conflict  you hear some amazing misconceptions about life.

Parents: your homework is to take time and do a study on each of your children. What weaknesses do they have? What lies do they believe? What are some of the unproductive things they are saying in their hearts? Ask yourself: What does he say when he is arguing with me? What does she say when she's angry? What does he mumble under his breath in his room or as he stomps down the hall? How does she report offenses to her friends? How does she rationalize and justify her mistakes? As you listen to your child talk, you'll get a bigger picture of beliefs, values and impressions that are guiding behavior. Become a detective. It may not be time to correct the behavior, but it is time to figure out what is in your child's heart.

Chapter 11 is titled, Meditation Management. What I want to focus on in this chapter is this:

Meditation is the process of repeating the same thing over and over again in your heart - sometimes the same words, and other times the same idea examined from various sides. The focus of meditation becomes a temporary obsession, and you're not easily distracted from the intense internal dialogue. Sometimes it feels like your heart is on autopilot and won't stop nagging you about the issue......The psalmist wrote, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer" (Ps.19:14). Notice the Bible says meditation takes place in the heart. It's not just our spoken words that create problems, but inner words also can build significant roadblocks in our lives.

Oh boy, that is tough. How many times have I meditated on someone who has done me wrong? I find that I can't have any nice thing to say about them. Stop, back up, Rebecca.....It says, May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord. Are those words and thoughts pleasing to the Lord? No! That is what I mean when I say that this heart work stuff is humbling......but I promise you if you make the change, it is rewarding. God bless you as you are doing the heart work!

I just want to add that the material that we are doing is by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. The materials can be found at The National Center for Biblical Parenting

Parenting is Heart Work, Week 1

I am behind a week. Sorry!

Session 1 of Parenting is Heart Work video series is about teaching kids to listen and follow instructions. This session is important to the rest of the series because  it is useful as you continue in the rest of the activities. Being able to get your child's attention so that you can give them instructions is important for communication and cooperation.

If you are reading along in the book, Parenting is Heart Work, you were to read chapter 4. The part from chapter 4, Do It Like You Mean It, that I want to focus on is found on page 69, "What Your Child Treasures."

What are your kids interested in? What do they think about? Where do they spend their money? What do they want to do? Jesus said that, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matt. 6:21). Most of the time the activities our children choose indicate what they treasure.

Because the heart and behavior are closely linked, parents can look for things their kids can do that will encourage healthy heart change. Desires, hopes, dreams, and wishes start in the heart and then come out in a child's conversation.

Take some time to talk to each of your children individually. Assess the things that interest them. You should be able to know the answers about favorite shows, colors, books, games, ice cream, etc. You should know what interests them, what scares them, what makes them laugh. This is something that should take time and be ongoing, but by doing this homework, you will build relationship and give you some idea about reaching into your child's heart....which is the next session!

God bless you during this heart work!

Parenting and the Heart

We are starting a parenting class at church and the curriculum that we are using is from the National Center for Biblical Parenting. The book that goes along with the curriculum is:

For the next few weeks I will be posting on related chapters. God bless you as you parent your child's heart!