“It’s not about me, it‘s about God”

That’s a phrase that I have to keep repeating to myself. It helps me get out of the feel sorry for me syndrome. Becoming a mother has been a huge change in my life. I thought, as I have said earlier, that I would have done it more naturally. Typically I am an easy going person and I don’t let things stress me out - unless I have put them off until the last moment. I have found out that mothering is and can be a lot of last moments. Trying to get somewhere, trying to make supper before bath time, trying to give the kids a bath before bedtime, etc. Normally I am calm, but in some of those hectic moments - I just need to say, “it is not about me.”

Everything I do and say is being imprinted on my children’s little minds. They are taking everything in and learning from me. Wow! That is a big responsibility. It can be a little overwhelming too. But then again, I just need to say, “It’s not about me, it is about God.” I can’t be so overwhelmed about my actions or what may happen to my kids otherwise I will wake up in the middle of the night in a panic. That is what happened to me the other night. My daughter was playing around the pool with her cousin Alex and she lost her balance and fell in. We have been teaching her some swimming techniques, but we still have her in a life jacket while she is swimming. When I got to the pool, prepared to jump in, she had bobbed back up. I grabbed her up. She was a little scared, but we talked about how good she did kicking to come back up. After the incident happened, I was talking to my mother about it. And we discussed stories about how little ones sometimes get lost in the shuffle and then they end up getting seriously hurt or being killed or being abducted. So about 3 a.m. I woke up and just started to panic. You see, being the primary care-giver to three little ones is a huge responsibility - especially in this day of age. There are so many warnings and things mothers need to know about. Don’t let your child play with this, don’t let your child eat this, don’t leave your child here, watch for this if your child is sick, etc. What got me calmed down? Saying, “It’s not about me, it’s about God.” I have to give my kids to God. Since I am not super human - I cannot protect my kids from everything. I have to know that whatever happens its about God, not me.

The main reason I am writing about this is because for months I was walking around thinking about me. In many ways that stressed me out because I was putting so much pressure on myself to be a perfect mother. Of course I was thinking about caring for my kids, but in many ways I left God out of the equation. I can’t put my kids before my relationship with God. ( Is that a form of idolatry?) It is very easy to do because they are so needy. If the baby doesn’t get fed or changed, he cries. Putting God first in my life, before the kids, does not mean to not keep them safe or not take care of their needs, but it helps me keep my life in perspective. Therefore, it helps with those hectic moments and it helps me be a better mother - it is not about me, it is about God!

One last note, that is why we young mothers need wise, Christian older women to keep us accountable. We need to be reminded to put God first. Just because I seem to have it figured out doesn't mean that I won't fall back into a rut and go on auto-pilot mothering. I hope that older wiser women will wake up and become mentors to the younger women. (Titus 2:3-5) I just want to thank my mother and grandmothers for their wonderful examples to me.

One Flaw in Women

I got this as an email and I wanted to share it with you. I don't know who originally wrote it, but I think that it is true.

One Flaw In Women

     Women have strengths that amaze men.

     They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

     but they hold happiness, love and joy.

     They smile when they want to scream.

     They sing when they want to cry.

     They cry when they are happy

     and laugh when they are nervous.

     They fight for what they believe in.

     They stand up to injustice.

     They don't take "no" for an answer

     when they believe there is a better solution.

     They go without so their family can have.

     They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

     They love unconditionally.

     They cry when their children excel

     and cheer when their friends get awards.

     They are happy when they hear about

     a birth or a wedding.

     Their hearts break when a friend dies.

     They grieve at the loss of a family member,

     yet they are strong when they

     think there is no strength left.

     They know that a hug and a kiss

     can heal a broken heart.

     Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

     They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

     to show how much they care about you.

     The heart of a woman is what

     makes the world keep turning.

     They bring joy, hope and love.

     They have compassion and ideas.

     They give moral support to their

     family and friends.

     Women have vital things to say

     and everything to give.

     HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

     IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Womanly Guidance

Why is it that other people seem to think that they know what my baby is thinking or needing? My 5 month old was fussing and couple of older grandmotherly ladies tried to tell me it was one thing. I was tired at the time and I was trying to keep up good appearances, but it really annoyed me. I hardly knew these ladies. I know that they had good intentions, but this is my third child for heaven's sake.

After having said that, I also know the impotance of having experienced women in your life to help give guidance as I raise my kids. I just would appreciate that they would have a relationship with me before they stick an oar in.

In the Bible, it talks about the older women guiding the younger women. I don't think that enough older women are doing that. I want to encourage older women to get involved in younger women's lives - especially if they have young children. Get to know them and in loving example help them in their walk. I know being so far from home, my mother doesn't have the chance to help as much as she could. I was ill after having my last child. Looking back, I wished that I had someone to come and give me spiritual wisdom and motherly wisdom. It was hard to be a mother while I was suppose to be resting. I was taken care of tremendously by the ladies of my church and my husband, but I guess I needed a little more and just recently figured out what it was. It is my hope that I will let God use me in such a way to minister to other ladies. Isn't that just the way God is, using your circumstances to help you become a better person.

How Did Our Mothers Do It?

It is hard to find free time to write my blog. There is always something else that I should be doing, like right now, I should be putting laundry away. When I do sit down and think about what I want to write about - I go blank. There are times during my day when I have an idea, but now that I sit here I can’t quite remember what I meant to say. I know that writers keep note pads by their beds so they can jot notes during the night. That just couldn’t work for me because my kids would find it and take it and I wouldn’t find it when I needed it. That is why I titled my blog, “ Sleepy Thoughts…..” They will usually be sleepy and they are most likely just thoughts.

My family just got back from a trip from the Midwest. We drove 24 hours to get there - straight through. My kids were real troopers - although it helped to have a double dvd player for them to watch. We attended a family reunion on one side of the family and a 50th wedding anniversary party on the other. I loved seeing all the cousins and all their little children. In my case, I felt like I didn’t have as much time to visit because I was too busy caring for my little family.

I try to remember that this time in my life is short and soon they won’t need or want my help as they get older. I try to remember that I will miss the days when they were little and I try to embrace each day as it comes. How did our moms or grandmothers do it? It reminds me of the time when I was pregnant with my second child and I was having a few issues with my first while at the grocery store. I made the comment to me husband about how I was going to deal with an infant and my 2 year old on outings such as grocery shopping. My husband made the remark, “lots of other women have done it.” It was said with no compassion and it really irked me, so I try not to make comments like that anymore. I managed quite well with two. Well, after having my third, I was really ill and didn’t make it out of the house much until just recently. About a month ago, I finally took all three out. The first time was a short Walmart trip and it went great. The second was a Walmart and a grocery store trip - I think that I bit off a little more than I could chew. Walmart was busy and I ended up having an old man in one of those electric cart chair things yell at me. I guess I got in his way. I was trying to maneuver around several things and keep my 4 year old with me, I really didn’t see him. Then we went to the grocery store. They actually did pretty well, but towards the end all 3 were fussing. While I was trying to bag my own groceries, my little one was crying. I had him in a front pack so it was hard to manage some of the heavier items. I could tell that everyone was looking at me. Was it compassion that I saw in their eyes or annoyance? I don’t know, I was trying to get done as soon as possible otherwise my 2 year old was going to get into mischief. I actually felt like crying by the time we made it to the car, but I didn’t. I just wonder, how my husband would have handled the situation? And the question is, am I going to try that again anytime soon? I will let you know.