“It’s not about me, it‘s about God”

That’s a phrase that I have to keep repeating to myself. It helps me get out of the feel sorry for me syndrome. Becoming a mother has been a huge change in my life. I thought, as I have said earlier, that I would have done it more naturally. Typically I am an easy going person and I don’t let things stress me out - unless I have put them off until the last moment. I have found out that mothering is and can be a lot of last moments. Trying to get somewhere, trying to make supper before bath time, trying to give the kids a bath before bedtime, etc. Normally I am calm, but in some of those hectic moments - I just need to say, “it is not about me.”

Everything I do and say is being imprinted on my children’s little minds. They are taking everything in and learning from me. Wow! That is a big responsibility. It can be a little overwhelming too. But then again, I just need to say, “It’s not about me, it is about God.” I can’t be so overwhelmed about my actions or what may happen to my kids otherwise I will wake up in the middle of the night in a panic. That is what happened to me the other night. My daughter was playing around the pool with her cousin Alex and she lost her balance and fell in. We have been teaching her some swimming techniques, but we still have her in a life jacket while she is swimming. When I got to the pool, prepared to jump in, she had bobbed back up. I grabbed her up. She was a little scared, but we talked about how good she did kicking to come back up. After the incident happened, I was talking to my mother about it. And we discussed stories about how little ones sometimes get lost in the shuffle and then they end up getting seriously hurt or being killed or being abducted. So about 3 a.m. I woke up and just started to panic. You see, being the primary care-giver to three little ones is a huge responsibility - especially in this day of age. There are so many warnings and things mothers need to know about. Don’t let your child play with this, don’t let your child eat this, don’t leave your child here, watch for this if your child is sick, etc. What got me calmed down? Saying, “It’s not about me, it’s about God.” I have to give my kids to God. Since I am not super human - I cannot protect my kids from everything. I have to know that whatever happens its about God, not me.

The main reason I am writing about this is because for months I was walking around thinking about me. In many ways that stressed me out because I was putting so much pressure on myself to be a perfect mother. Of course I was thinking about caring for my kids, but in many ways I left God out of the equation. I can’t put my kids before my relationship with God. ( Is that a form of idolatry?) It is very easy to do because they are so needy. If the baby doesn’t get fed or changed, he cries. Putting God first in my life, before the kids, does not mean to not keep them safe or not take care of their needs, but it helps me keep my life in perspective. Therefore, it helps with those hectic moments and it helps me be a better mother - it is not about me, it is about God!

One last note, that is why we young mothers need wise, Christian older women to keep us accountable. We need to be reminded to put God first. Just because I seem to have it figured out doesn't mean that I won't fall back into a rut and go on auto-pilot mothering. I hope that older wiser women will wake up and become mentors to the younger women. (Titus 2:3-5) I just want to thank my mother and grandmothers for their wonderful examples to me.