What Do You Do All Day?
A man came home from work and found his three
Children outside, still
In their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty
Food boxes and wrappers
Strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was
The front door to the house
And there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding
Into the entry, he found
An even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked
Over, and the throw rug was
Wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a
Cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys
And various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink,
Breakfast food was spilled on the
Counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog
Food was spilled on the floor,
a broken glass lay under the table, and a
Small pile of sand was spread
By the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over
Toys and more piles of
Clothes,looking for his wife. He was worried
She might be ill, or that
Something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it
Made its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside he found wet towels,
Scummy soap and more toys
Strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a
Heap and toothpaste had been
Smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife
Still curled up in the bed
In her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up
At him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What
Happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every
Day when you come home
From work and you ask me what in the world I do all
Day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
The other day a newly married lady without kids and pursuing her career asked me what I did that day. She was just just trying to make conversation. I thought for a moment and then I said, "Not much." I just couldn't think of anything to say that was that exciting. I got the kids breakfast, I got them dressed, I got their hair and teeth brushed, I got them busy doing something while I cleaned up and took care of the baby. I did some activities with the kids - then "Oh, look at the time it is time for lunch!" I quickly try to whip up something for lunch - clean up, put the kids down for a nap. Oh the baby woke up - spend time with the baby as I try to pick up and make the house look presentable - maybe set down and rest. The kids are up, I get them busy while I make supper - cleanup - maybe a bath and then to bed.
Just recently someone sent me the above email and it hit home - I spend my day doing things that make it look like I haven't done much. My husband has also made the comment that he could get more done in a day if he stayed home with the kids. I actually do not doubt that he could get more visible things done. It is easy to sit them in front of the T.V. while you get things done and I must admit that I do use this technique more than I like to admit, but I do know that I try to spend time with them. How many times have I sat in the bathroom with my child for more than 20 minutes trying to potty train them or helping them have a bowel movement? How many times has it taken a whole morning trying to pick up and organize a whole playroom instead of throwing it all in the toy box. How many times have I burnt dinner because I had to help a child who needed me? How many times have I sat wondering if my sick child is sick enough to see the doctor? How many times have a sat and read "one more story." I could keep going. Could I be a little bit more organized and disciplined - yes - but please understand that a mother can be busy doing important work without getting the visible work accomplished. I did get pretty sick this spring and I was laid up for awhile. I think that through that time, my husband did start to understand what goes on daily with little children and he doesn't make comments like that anymore.
3 comments:
Great post!! If priorities are not in order, a clean house can make sick kids as well as a dirty one--perhaps more so.
The development and maturation of children is the first priority, in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man.
Blessings, Hawkeye Gold
Rebecca! WOW! I just stumbled across your blog while flipping thru links on someone else's blog!
Great reading your thoughts! I hope all is well for you!
Amy Gebhard
Chesterton agreed with your quote. He put it thusly Babies need not to be taught a trade, but to be introduced to a world. To put the matter shortly, woman is generally shut up in a house with a human being at the time when he asks all the questions that there are, and some that there aren’t. It would be odd if she retained any of the narrowness of a specialist.
Now if anyone says that this duty of general enlightenment (even when freed from modern rules and hours, and exercised more spontaneously by a more protected person) is in itself too exacting and oppressive, I can understand the view. I can only answer that our race has thought it worth while to cast this burden on women in order to keep common-sense in the world. But when people begin to talk about this domestic duty as not merely difficult but trivial and dreary, I simply give up the question. For I cannot with the utmost energy of imagination conceive what they mean. When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean.
To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whiteley within a certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets cakes. and books, to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.
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