How Did Our Mothers Do It?
It is hard to find free time to write my blog. There is always something else that I should be doing, like right now, I should be putting laundry away. When I do sit down and think about what I want to write about - I go blank. There are times during my day when I have an idea, but now that I sit here I can’t quite remember what I meant to say. I know that writers keep note pads by their beds so they can jot notes during the night. That just couldn’t work for me because my kids would find it and take it and I wouldn’t find it when I needed it. That is why I titled my blog, “ Sleepy Thoughts…..” They will usually be sleepy and they are most likely just thoughts.
My family just got back from a trip from the Midwest. We drove 24 hours to get there - straight through. My kids were real troopers - although it helped to have a double dvd player for them to watch. We attended a family reunion on one side of the family and a 50th wedding anniversary party on the other. I loved seeing all the cousins and all their little children. In my case, I felt like I didn’t have as much time to visit because I was too busy caring for my little family.
I try to remember that this time in my life is short and soon they won’t need or want my help as they get older. I try to remember that I will miss the days when they were little and I try to embrace each day as it comes. How did our moms or grandmothers do it? It reminds me of the time when I was pregnant with my second child and I was having a few issues with my first while at the grocery store. I made the comment to me husband about how I was going to deal with an infant and my 2 year old on outings such as grocery shopping. My husband made the remark, “lots of other women have done it.” It was said with no compassion and it really irked me, so I try not to make comments like that anymore. I managed quite well with two. Well, after having my third, I was really ill and didn’t make it out of the house much until just recently. About a month ago, I finally took all three out. The first time was a short Walmart trip and it went great. The second was a Walmart and a grocery store trip - I think that I bit off a little more than I could chew. Walmart was busy and I ended up having an old man in one of those electric cart chair things yell at me. I guess I got in his way. I was trying to maneuver around several things and keep my 4 year old with me, I really didn’t see him. Then we went to the grocery store. They actually did pretty well, but towards the end all 3 were fussing. While I was trying to bag my own groceries, my little one was crying. I had him in a front pack so it was hard to manage some of the heavier items. I could tell that everyone was looking at me. Was it compassion that I saw in their eyes or annoyance? I don’t know, I was trying to get done as soon as possible otherwise my 2 year old was going to get into mischief. I actually felt like crying by the time we made it to the car, but I didn’t. I just wonder, how my husband would have handled the situation? And the question is, am I going to try that again anytime soon? I will let you know.
My family just got back from a trip from the Midwest. We drove 24 hours to get there - straight through. My kids were real troopers - although it helped to have a double dvd player for them to watch. We attended a family reunion on one side of the family and a 50th wedding anniversary party on the other. I loved seeing all the cousins and all their little children. In my case, I felt like I didn’t have as much time to visit because I was too busy caring for my little family.
I try to remember that this time in my life is short and soon they won’t need or want my help as they get older. I try to remember that I will miss the days when they were little and I try to embrace each day as it comes. How did our moms or grandmothers do it? It reminds me of the time when I was pregnant with my second child and I was having a few issues with my first while at the grocery store. I made the comment to me husband about how I was going to deal with an infant and my 2 year old on outings such as grocery shopping. My husband made the remark, “lots of other women have done it.” It was said with no compassion and it really irked me, so I try not to make comments like that anymore. I managed quite well with two. Well, after having my third, I was really ill and didn’t make it out of the house much until just recently. About a month ago, I finally took all three out. The first time was a short Walmart trip and it went great. The second was a Walmart and a grocery store trip - I think that I bit off a little more than I could chew. Walmart was busy and I ended up having an old man in one of those electric cart chair things yell at me. I guess I got in his way. I was trying to maneuver around several things and keep my 4 year old with me, I really didn’t see him. Then we went to the grocery store. They actually did pretty well, but towards the end all 3 were fussing. While I was trying to bag my own groceries, my little one was crying. I had him in a front pack so it was hard to manage some of the heavier items. I could tell that everyone was looking at me. Was it compassion that I saw in their eyes or annoyance? I don’t know, I was trying to get done as soon as possible otherwise my 2 year old was going to get into mischief. I actually felt like crying by the time we made it to the car, but I didn’t. I just wonder, how my husband would have handled the situation? And the question is, am I going to try that again anytime soon? I will let you know.
2 comments:
I'm AMAZED that no one took the time out of their busy, non-kid lives to stop and help you bag groceries or entertain your children while you were bagging.
When my children were littlier, maybe 4 and an infant in a car seat, we were at church for a Lenten meal. I was having a dickens of a time--stuff was spilling and we hadn't even sat down yet. In a church basement full of "Christians," no one lifted a finger.
I'm still trying to get over that one. . .
Finally, I have to be QUITE desperate to go to the store with all three of my kids, and they're 11, 7, and 5!
Rebecca,
It is funny to me how men and women, mothers and fathers, view things so differently. Before Dean and I got married, we had a discussion about having kids. We both said we wanted kids. It wasn't until after we started having them that we discovered that when he said he wanted kids he meant one or two. When I said I wanted kids I meant atleast four.
Now we have five. Dean will say things like "We have a lot going on" or "our house is a circus" and other comments like this. While spending time with all five kids is stressful to him, it's just all a days work for me. There are times when I get frustrated, what mother doesn't, but I never feel like things are falling apart like he does. I often get angry when I come home from an hour or two away and the house is a disaster. I don't understand how I can get everything done with out the house looking like a tornado hit, but he can't.
I think for the most part, men are wired to be bread winners (I'm probably going to make people mad). Not that they don't enjoy their families, they just don't look at things the same way we do. Dean looks at things in numbers...how much is this child going to cost us, can we afford to put another child through college and so on. I just figure it will all work out and in the mean time, I have a beautiful new baby to hold.
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