Being a Wife and Mother Doesn't Always Come Naturally
Part 2

Expectations. I took a college class called Adjusting to Marriage. It was a great class to take to prepare one to get married and to help others prepare for marriage. Everyone has different expectations when they enter a marriage relationship. Since everyone comes from different backgrounds, people have different ideas of how relationships work. Who takes care of the bills, who takes care of car maintenance, who makes the meals, how many children they want, who mows the lawn, who does the laundry, etc. are some of topics that should be discussed. Those are simple things to talk about, but it is amazing how people look at them differently. Once a couple is married, it would make life more manageable if some of those expectations were already discussed. I have found that it is after marriage the debate begins about the “correct” way to get a particular job done. Did you know that there is a correct way to put the dishes in the dishwasher or to fold jeans?

I feel like this is also true about being a mother. I have put some unrealistic expectations onto myself and sometimes it is very hard to live up to them. Besides, my husband has his own expectations of what I should be as a mother based on his remembrances of what his own mother was like. That is why I wrote that not feeling like being wife and a mother came naturally. It is hard work being a wife and mother, it is not easy or natural all the time. That being said, I love being my kids’ mother. They are so sweet and are true blessings. I also enjoy the challenge of being married to my husband. I do say challenge - he stretches me out of my comfort zone. I know that I have been good for him because he is a lot sweeter than when I first married him.

Some women may not have so many expectations about motherhood, in many ways that could make life less stressful. In fact that is what I recommend - Not to stress over the little things. If hair isn’t always brushed, if there are still dishes in the sink, if I get home from the grocery store and still don’t know what to fix for lunch - it will be okay. It is a stage of my life that will be over before I know it. I just have to keep telling myself that. Just one more note before I go. I do believe that the majority of women are not prepared for motherhood when it comes upon them - whether the mom has a job or not. For the most part, motherhood is a learn as you go kind of job. Thankfully, I have a great support system and a heavenly Father that help me through such an important job.

Being a Wife and Mother Doesn't Always Come Naturally

I need to speak at a men's retreat for my church about being a wife and mother of young children. I want to be able to use this blog to springboard any ideas and thoughts I have and I hope that others respond.
I love to read, especially fiction. ( My reading has been minimal since having children.) In the historical reading that I have done, it seems like girls are raised to be wives and mothers - I think that for the most part, that is true. In today's society in which I grew up, I feel like this isn't the case. Every child is told that they can be anything that they want to be. Girls can have a career if they want - they can do it all. I wonder if that is so much the focus, that girls don't learn and focus on being a wife and mother. I don't want to say that my parents didn't raise me well, but I do know that sometimes I feel like being a mother and a wife doesn't come as naturally to me as I thought it would.
I have more to write on this subject, but my kids need me and I need to go.