Parenting is Heart Work, Week 3

Go and do better next time.

This week we were asked to implement a Break. A Break is like a time-out, but there are some differences. To learn more about a Break, you can read the book The Christian Parenting Handbook, chapter 42. The break is important because that is where your child can have the time to change their heart. They might not, but it gives them a chance to turn things around.

"Turn around for a Change" is the title of Chapter 14 in the Parenting is Heart Work book. There are 6 parts that can happen during a break. I want to focus on the first one: "Settle Down and Stop Fighting". This one is important especially for those children who start to throw a fit when they are corrected. Instead of being drawn into the drama or an argument/fight, have them take a break to settle down. The book says, "Jeremiah 8:6 describes an unrepentant person as 'a horse charging into battle.' You can imagine the nostrils flaring and the eyes widened as the horse rushes ahead. That's an apt description of many unrepentant children bent on doing the wrong thing. The first step in the process is to settle down and be willing to work on the problem."

Chapter 15 talks more about breaks and it gives many great tips for using it successfully. Don't give up if there is resistance. Keep trying! The part in the chapter that I want to focus on is: "A Break is an adult skill. We all benefit from taking time to sit and think and let God work in our hearts. As we teach our children how to take a Break, we're developing a response pattern for them that they'll use as they get older. Yes, God uses other means to get our attention and change our hearts, but a Break is an excellent way to begin the repentance process."

Today I used a Break with one of my children. We have been working on Breaks for the past year. When my child came to me because he was ready to get out of his Break, he told me what he had done wrong, we discussed why it was wrong and I ended it with a hug and the phrase, "Go and do better next time." There was no shouting, no anger...just disappointment, and as far as I can tell...repentance. It might take many breaks for true repentance, but it is a start.

My encouragement to you....It is hard to be a parent. Life gets busy, complicated, and messy....just go and do better next time!

God bless you as you discover that parenting is heart work!