Parenting is Heart Work, Week 6

With the end of school, starting a summer job and working on Vacation Bible School....life got busy. In the meantime, our parenting class finished up. I would like to finish out the 8 weeks on my blog, so here is week 6, "Teaching Children to Accept No as an Answer."

The curriculum suggests to read chapter 3,'Will I or Won't I" and Chapter 7, "Avoiding Congestive Heart Failure" in the Parenting is Heart Work book.

What I want you to get out of Chapter 3 is this:
The will is that place of determination. The level of one's determination is affected by such things as personality, character, values, and one's sense of morality. Parents and children often experience conflict when their wills determine to go in opposite directions. A wise parent helps turn potential fights around, look for ways to redirect a child's intensity, and knows when taking a stand against a child's will is the most loving thing to do."

The take away that I want you to get out of Chapter 7 is this:
One sign of an emotionally healthy person is the ability to recover more quickly from upsetting experiences. I'm sure you know people who can stew for days when they are angry. God designed the heart as a place where emotions are experienced and released. When people harbor negative feelings, the heart gets congested, leaving emotional residue. Healthy people experience emotions, benefit from them, release them, and move on. Emotionally unhealthy people overreact, mull over their feelings for long periods, and take longer to bounce back. Congestive heart failure is not just a physical problem in our society, it is also a spiritual problem in many relationships.

Our job as parents is to raise our children to be adults. It is a hindrance to everyone if adults haven't learned healthy ways to deal with upsetting experiences. It is better for us all to take the time to work with our children now. Some children learn this quickly, some take years. I have seen how my youngest son has been getting better at overreacting when things don't go his way (he has been overreacting for years - he is the youngest after all). Someone just noticed it and mentioned it to me the other day and my reply was, "He is growing up." In fact, I have noticed several behavior changes in the last couple days and I mentioned them to him. We might just have to have a celebration!

I hope that you have been taking time to lean into your children, summertime is the best time to do that. God bless!