Men's Retreat Part 4

And Lastly, women are influenced by submission. 1Peter 3:1 says that wives need to be submissive to their husbands. What is that? The hated “S” word for Christian women! My dad sent me an article called, “Toward a More Comprehensive Understanding of Wifely Submission.” By Catherine Clark Kroeger. Because my dad liked what she had to say, I went ahead and read it. She wrote the article to dismiss the notion that proper submission “entails a servant-master relationship and that it doesn’t encourage intimacy.” She looked at the word submission in the Greek. I’m not going to try to get into the whole study of the Greek, but this is what she says after her study. “The Greek verb, hupotasso, (the word for submission) has within it many values that can enrich a marriage - to join, associate, identify, support, attach oneself to, or to relate in such a way as to make meaning - this word is not the word for obedience, hupakouo, something enjoined on slaves and children.” I think that the best portrayal of a woman relationship as a mother and a wife is in Proverbs 31. Kroeger says this about Proverbs 31, “Here the model wife is portrayed as a full partner - strong, willing to take new ventures and possessed of good judgment in her own right. Her industry and initiative bring great enrichment to her marriage and her home, and brings praise of her husband and children.” What a gift to a marriage when women and men realize that a woman brings “commitment, loyalty, support, adherence, responsibility, and a desire to create a meaningful relationship.” Barbara Rainey says, “When Dennis loves me the way he is commanded to it is easier for me to submit to him and his leadership.” Men love your wives as Christ loved the Church.

What does this all mean to you men? We women need you. Somewhere the value of men’s leadership has been lost. Men see that women try to do it all. They make money, they take care of the kids, really they do everything. What is there for a man to do? Of course you help and you do a good job - but something is missing. Women don’t have the time for their husbands. Who is the real loser in the women’s movement - not only the children, but also the husbands. We aren’t doing what we are suppose to do. Did God intend for the family to be this way? What can we do about it? What can you do about it? Think about it - our society is spinning out of control. We have dysfunctional families, we have a high divorce rate, there is a rise in drug use, pornography, we have desperate housewives, I could go on and on.


Where do you start? You start with your wife. Ephesians 5:25-27 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present Himself to the church in all her glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing: but that she would be holy and blameless.”

“Sanctify her. Be her spiritual leader. Be sure that your wife has enough time in her daily schedule for personal Bible Study and prayer. Spend time with her in Bible study. Ask her to memorize scripture together. When you make your decisions, explain them on the basis of scripture. Commend her for any biblical traits that she possesses. Be certain that you never criticize her other than on scriptural grounds and she should do the same with you. Encourage her to be faithful in her attendance at church and set a good example yourself. Encourage other opportunities she may have to study scripture. Make dinner an enjoyable time of discussing biblical truth and personal applications of scripture.” (Taken from 10 Ideas a Husband can Help His Wife Grow in Christ by Lou Priolo)

Remember your wife doesn’t need your money to be secure - she needs you. She feels secure when you two feel close, when you make time together a priority - she feels secure when you demonstrate your commitment and you are actively participating in parenting and in life at home. ( taken from “Why Does She Think That Way? Article by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn) I truly believe if women and men start treating each other the way it is talked about in scripture, than the dysfunction that we see now will start to fade.

Finally, Men - Princes of the King, fight for the hearts of your wives and reveal their beauty. Women aren’t the adventure, but catch her up into the adventure of following Jesus with you, her husband, her Prince of the King. (Thank you Tommy)

Then I handed out Prayer sheets to the men so that they can specifically pray for their wives. I adapted it from Stormie O’Martian’s Book, The Power of a Praying Wife. I will post that in the next post.

Thank you to everyone who thought and prayed for me. I am glad that it is over, but it was an important exercise. It made me re-think what I am doing as a wife and mother.